Thanks for this thoughtful addition! You've hit on something important- it's hard to find the right relationship when we're not clear about who we are and what we want.
That self-knowledge is absolutely key to building authentic connections.
I wish I had known this when I was much younger and dating. Engaged twice, but never married and actually it was a good thing because it wasn't with the right people and honestly, I wasn't right for them either. It was more about... well you know.
Being in my early 60s now, and not even looking for this type of companionship or anything at this type level I think it also can be applied to all relationships- especially family and friends.
Family is always the hardest but open communication and understanding each other's point of view helps. With friendships- it is those expectations. I want honesty, even if it hurts (doesn't iron sharpen iron?). I want loyalty and respect. these are the absolute same things that I give.
I think in the other relationships, the more intimate ones, what I see this day and age is commitment. I'm not saying there aren't other issues they're definitely are but to me if someone's committed, then a lot of the other falls into place or it should naturally in my opinion.
Well, since this is more of a dating article, I'll stop there, but I do think it applies to all relationships and wish I had known it 40 something years ago! 🤔
Really appreciate you sharing your journey and wisdom, Kathleen - there's so much to learn from your experience! You're absolutely right that these principles of honesty, commitment, and clear communication apply to all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Love your point about commitment being the foundation that makes everything else work.
Before meeting my wife, I’d either date girls I believe I “should” be dating or follow my “heart” and pursue infatuation. The girls I “should” be dating made me feel, at least internally; inauthentic. The girls I pursued with my “heart” were all based on emotional reasoning and superficial attributes like appearance or status.
After meeting my wife, I finally found complete convergence of my heart and mind. Even in struggle, which we had many in the early days, something kept me around that never would have before. Kept me patient. Kept me honest. I believe this was the agreement between my heart and mind.
Great post! Stoicism in developing relationships is a new one for me. The emphasis on authenticity is so important. Also, being willing to fail while staying authentic to yourself, beautiful. It’s often hard to know exactly what we want without also knowing what we don’t want.
Experience adds knowledge to develop eventual wisdom.
Your story is such a powerful example of how staying authentic and patient, even through challenges, leads to deeper connection. Thanks for sharing this perspective Kyle! It adds so much value to the discussion. 💪
To add to this, I think it’s important to recognise that in order to enjoy a relationship, you need to have a clear idea of what you want in life.
That there is the real challenge- people don’t know what they actually want in life, in friends, in careers etc.
It’s most likely why influencers earn so much money. Most people’s decisions are based on what their friends have.
I think people should spend time on getting to know themselves first.
Understanding clearly their likes, dislikes, their boundaries, their non-negotiables etc.
They will then have a better idea of what they want in their partner, so they can then focus on fulfilling each others happiness
Great article.
Thank you for staring your thoughts 😇
Thanks for this thoughtful addition! You've hit on something important- it's hard to find the right relationship when we're not clear about who we are and what we want.
That self-knowledge is absolutely key to building authentic connections.
I wish I had known this when I was much younger and dating. Engaged twice, but never married and actually it was a good thing because it wasn't with the right people and honestly, I wasn't right for them either. It was more about... well you know.
Being in my early 60s now, and not even looking for this type of companionship or anything at this type level I think it also can be applied to all relationships- especially family and friends.
Family is always the hardest but open communication and understanding each other's point of view helps. With friendships- it is those expectations. I want honesty, even if it hurts (doesn't iron sharpen iron?). I want loyalty and respect. these are the absolute same things that I give.
I think in the other relationships, the more intimate ones, what I see this day and age is commitment. I'm not saying there aren't other issues they're definitely are but to me if someone's committed, then a lot of the other falls into place or it should naturally in my opinion.
Well, since this is more of a dating article, I'll stop there, but I do think it applies to all relationships and wish I had known it 40 something years ago! 🤔
Really appreciate you sharing your journey and wisdom, Kathleen - there's so much to learn from your experience! You're absolutely right that these principles of honesty, commitment, and clear communication apply to all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Love your point about commitment being the foundation that makes everything else work.
Before meeting my wife, I’d either date girls I believe I “should” be dating or follow my “heart” and pursue infatuation. The girls I “should” be dating made me feel, at least internally; inauthentic. The girls I pursued with my “heart” were all based on emotional reasoning and superficial attributes like appearance or status.
After meeting my wife, I finally found complete convergence of my heart and mind. Even in struggle, which we had many in the early days, something kept me around that never would have before. Kept me patient. Kept me honest. I believe this was the agreement between my heart and mind.
Great post! Stoicism in developing relationships is a new one for me. The emphasis on authenticity is so important. Also, being willing to fail while staying authentic to yourself, beautiful. It’s often hard to know exactly what we want without also knowing what we don’t want.
Experience adds knowledge to develop eventual wisdom.
Your story is such a powerful example of how staying authentic and patient, even through challenges, leads to deeper connection. Thanks for sharing this perspective Kyle! It adds so much value to the discussion. 💪